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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more perplexing – an frequently pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation crisis, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their romantic glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the words Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your partner’s response is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people form a link while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped young adults do affordable romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie excess, it refers to couples who choose against having children to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your choice to pursue a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, intentionally postponing climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that instantly kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {